Okay so of recent I have had my two most humiliating experiences ever. I do not know your embarrassing moments, but I believe its a far cry from mine. Errm, I did not fall inside gutter, its dry season. It was the day I shouted 'Daddy ooo, come and kill cockroach' over a phone conversation with this weirdass friend of mine who delights in every opportunity to make me look stupid. I do admit this time around it was not his doing am scared of roaches; creeping, crawling things I won't even go near talk less of to kill a roach. I would simply gather my strength and excuse the room. The worst thing is when they fly, and once I hear the buzzing of wings I fly out o with everything I can lay my hands on; pillow, blanket, mobile phone, books(I sleep with books beside my bed) and anything else and find myself lodging in the parlour for the night.
Don't bother, if you like talk and talk about how I'm scared of a mere cockroach, I won't listen to you. If you help me kill it fine if not then preach on pastor.
Anyways this particular evening I was having a warm tete-a-tete with this friend when I saw one of those fat brown things slinking on the wall, very close to my head. For a brief moment there I lost every thread of logical reasoning and I screamed "daddy cockroach!!!"
I only came back to the room when my dad (knight in shining armour) came to the rescue. Somehow I found my phone, thankfully, on the bed - not with a smashed screen. The shock, however, came as I realised the call was still on and putting the phone to my ear I was assaulted with harsh laughter, laughter so cruel I had to end the call. The guy nor gree rest o, charming wizard. He had to call again to enjoy bouts of laughter at my expense.. So sad.
Well my second most embarrassing moment was when I almost nose dived or scubadived out of a moving vehicle all because I had spotted a friend cruising a private ride. Still do not know what came over me that day. Maybe it was out of pure exhaustion, or hunger, or boredom which came with being in a gridlock for over an hour. All I know is that seeing that friend in that car was the switch that turned on my madness. If not for my colleagues who held my legs, hands and another my head, I probably would have been history(so they say). After that incident you should have seen the wicked stare I got from my male counterparts. You see, they have been asking me out since I nor gree and this was all the leverage they needed to get back at me.
You could imagine how shocked I was when I got to the office and everyone retelling the story of how Ebose nearly killed herself because of man, man wey nor even send am. In fact, according to them, the guy after my dramatic display simply tapped his partner informing him of how he had used me to his fill(haba!). But I bore it with great faith, even the Bible says "diverse persecutions will arise".
P.s: I have a friend whose sentiments towards roaches are extreme. Last session her wardrobe was infested and you should have seen us that day. It was epic. It was jumping from one bunk to the next; insecticide vs roaches vs tears. Lol. Me I stood by the door laughing my eyes out.
Author: Cherylb for Eric Mbogu's
